English Teacher

I am enjoying putting on my English teacher hat once a week and writing about points of grammar. My favorite part is getting questions and comments from you about what's confusing to you.

For the record, I don't wear my "English teacher hat" except at special times. Please don't feel that you need to check your grammar when you leave me a comment. I've done professional editing and proofreading quite a bit, but I promise that I don't read your writing with a critical eye!

Now on to today's lesson. Several readers have asked me to address the question of when to use "I" and when to use "me." That's a good question, so here we go!

We'd have a difficult time using our language if it weren't for personal pronouns. Think about it: how many times a day do you use the words I, me, we, us, you, he, him, she, her, they, and them? Now imagine trying to have a conversation without using those. Yikes!

For the most part, the use of pronouns comes very naturally to us. The one troublesome point is knowing when to use subjective pronouns and when to use objective pronouns. Here's the run-down on that point:

Use a subjective pronoun (I, you, he, she, they) as the subject of a sentence or phrase or following a linking verb (is, am, are, was, were, be).

Examples:

• I love chocolate.
• They left town this morning.
• This is she. (Think about how you learned to answer the phone!)

Use an objective pronoun (me, you, him, her, them) as a direct or indirect object of a sentence or the object of a preposition. Prepositions are the connecting words used to build phrases that usually describe relationship of some kind. Some common prepositions are about, at, before, between, by, for, from, of, on, to, and with. The word or words following a preposition are the objects of the preposition. When you use a pronoun as the object of a preposition, you need an objective pronoun.

Examples:

• Charlie bit me! ("Me" is the direct object of bit.)
• Pam made me a pillow. ("Me" is the indirect object of made.)
• This book is all about her. ("Her" is the object of the preposition about.)

Now, here's where it gets tricky. When you were very small, you probably said to your mom something like, "Me and Sally are going to ride our bikes." And your mom probably said, "Don't say 'me and Sally'; say 'Sally and I.'" She was trying to teach you that it's polite to say the other person's name first, then say your own name. She was right about that. And she probably had to tell you this rule of courtesy a number of times before you got it. The important part of that lesson was being polite, not using good grammar. But you need to know that you should say "Sally and I" ONLY when you need the subject of a sentence or phrase. If "Sally and I" are serving as the object of a phrase, then you need to switch to "Sally and me."

Examples:

• Mom baked cookies for Sally and me.
• Please take a picture of Sally and me.
• If you have any questions, just ask Sally or me.

There's an easy way to know whether to use "Sally and I" or "Sally and me." Just take "Sally" out of the sentence for a second. Would you say, "Mom baked cookies for I"? "Please take a picture of I"? Or "Just ask I"? No, of course you wouldn't; you would naturally say "me" instead of "I." So if you would naturally say "me," then you should use "me" in conjunction with the other person's name.

Your mom was right: it IS polite to say the other person's name first. But choose to add "I" or "me" based on how you're using the words in a sentence.

Here's an example: "Let's keep this just between you and I." There's even a song with lyrics "I feel the magic between you and I." Oops! Between is a preposition, so you need an object of the preposition. The correct wording is "between you and me."

Here's a little quiz for you.

1. My husband and _____ (I or me) invite you to have dinner with us.
2. I love this photo of my husband and _____ (I or me) from our wedding day.

If you answered "I" for number 1 and "me" for number 2, you're right!

I hope this lesson was helpful. I'd love to know what other questions or observations you might have. In this class, you can speak right up; you don't even have to raise your hand! I love to hear from you.

**You can read all the grammar lessons I've written so far by clicking the "Grammar" link in my sidebar. I want this series to be a blessing to you. Please let me know if I can help you!**